Friday, August 11, 2006

Bring The Beat Back
I haven't watched more than 25 minutes of Canadian Idol's latest season (once the guy I knew from university was eliminated I was too heartbroken to continue), but I feel quite strongly that Rob James had to lose. He simply couldn't be allowed to win. It would have set too dangerous a precedent - turning CI into an attractive forum for every b-list has been and robbing the show of its Smalltown Kids Momentarily Make Good charm.

But James' mild success - not to mention last year's sighting of a Moffat and Tara Slone's run on Rockstar: INXS - proves there is an obvious interest in former Canadian pop stars making futile attempts to recapture glory that never really quite existed in the first place. And if the producers at CTV are sufficiently cunning (remember, these are the people who once, if temporarily, made Ryan Malcolm look like a viable star) they will capitalize on this interest and create a special edition of CI dedicated to Canada's recent history of one-hit wonders and fleeting favourites.

Granted, in theory this may not seem so great an idea. No one really needs to see or hear from these guys again (guy in the middle, you're fooling no one). But imagine if next season we got Canadian Idol: One More Chance, with a line-up consisting of: Kish, Jane Child, Trevor Guthrie (soulDecision), Melanie Doane, j.englishman, Ivana Santilli, Michie Mee, Alannah Myles, Maren Ord, Sharon Costanzo (Len), Tamia, Jason Levine (Prozzak), Kazzer, David Ling (Bootsauce), Morgan Lander (Kittie) and Meryn Cadell.

You could skip the cross-country search part of the show (eliminating about the first 18 episodes of a typical season), but otherwise follow the exact same format - voting one fallen idol off the show each week until a winner was selected for resurrection. You know you would watch this. You'd have to. How could you not? The initial curiosity factor would be impossible to resist, but the actual competition could be legendary. Especially if the producers expanded the reality portion of the show. Imagine Kish and Kazzer having to share bunkbeds in the Idol Mansion, the inevitable Alannah Myles/Morgan Lander cat fight or the equally inevitable Sharon Costanzo/David Ling drunken makeout session... never mind the equally heartbreaking and poignant spectacle of these former stars getting back on stage and trying to recapture their past glory with whatever remains of their debatable talent.

Sure, the show would really only work as a one-time deal. But that's all CTV would need - then they could go back to another mildly entertaining, if ultimately pointless, search for Canada's next soon-to-be-forgotten Idol. You can't tell me this wouldn't be at least a little more entertaining than watching, say, this guy celebrated as the second coming of Corey Hart. Wouldn't you rather have the opportunity to reject the guy from Prozzak again? Wouldn't you much rather see if the time is finally right for Maren Ord's unique brand of Mormon rock?

I think we all know the answer to that.

(By the way, Jane Child totally owns this competition. Especially if she still has the chain that runs from her ear piercing to her nose piercing.)

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