Tuesday, March 28, 2006

VJ Search Update: Now With Bonus MTV Makes Me Wanna Smoke Crack Commentary
MuchMusic is advertising the opportunity to be part of the live audience for Episode 10. Will you all think less of me if I attempt to attend? More importantly, will I think less of myself if I attempt to attend, touching off a downward spiral that culminates in my showing up alongside Paula Abdul in someone's backyard?

Until then, onward...

1. Kardinal wasn't present for this week's episode. They said this had to do with a concert in England. I take this to mean he disappeared about a week ago and did not leave a forwarding address.

2. Much is so desperate to plug its various sponsors that there were actually two separate shots this week of contestants applying deodorant. My only hope is that next year the VJ Search is sponsored exclusively by Trojan, Red Bull and Pepto Bismol.

3. During the segment with the judges, there was discussion about how if they hired Sean, Much would be once again breaking down barriers. Not once during this did I hear anyone say the word "gay" or "homosexual" (and I watched this part twice). I believe Sean was described only as "flamboyant." Thus, I can only assume that the barrier in question has to do with Much's distinct lack to date of a male VJ with platinum blonde hair.

4. This week's challenge involved making a music video for the VJ Search theme song (which just so happens to be written by former Much VJ Christopher Ward and performed by some girl you'll never need to know about). Apparently, this is what Much VJs do in their spare time. Which, at the very least, explains every Shawn Desman video you've ever seen.

5. As predicted, this week was all about affirming the brilliance of each candidate. The judges were tripping over themselves. Suddenly, after weeks of struggling to pick just one person to get rid of, gosh darn it, they couldn't find a single contestant they disliked in the least. Everybody was just so great. In fact, they'd all make great VJs, so let's just keep them all.

6. Yes, that's right - instead of going into next week's episode with two finalists, we will have four. Erik, Nikki, Sean and a loser of the audience's choice. I have no idea what happens then. I doubt Much does either.

7. When they brought back the losers, they announced that Larissa was not able to continue. I take this to mean she disappeared about a week ago and did not leave a forwarding address.

8. Was Casey-Jo wearing a wig?

9. I'd lost track, but Much is promoting the next episode as number 10. Now, according to the show's handy slogan - "10 roommates. 10 episodes. 1 VJ." - this should be the finale. But, so far as I can tell, this is impossible. Next week, they will introduce whoever the viewers have voted back, there will be a challenge (probably involving a contest to see who can find the most flattering adjective to describe Hedley's new single) and, one imagines, the judges will turf one or two of the remaining contestants. Finally THEN the viewers will get to pick the winner (it's been my understanding from the start that the viewers get final say, someone correct me if I'm wrong). That would seem to require another episode. That makes sense, right? In other words, defying all logic and good taste, Much has actually managed to extend the life of this show. I feel used.*

10. Is anybody else watching the new Canadian version of MTV? I'm hopelessly addicted. Best I can explain: it's like a technologically advanced race of aliens has invaded my television. I know eventually, when they enslave me and the rest of our species for instance, I will come to regret this. But for now I am endlessly fascinated and must learn more about them. Laguna Beach, 8th & Ocean, The Gauntlet, I find them all mesmerizing. Don't even get me started on Kristin Cavallari. I'll even watch the show where MTV's VJs review the preceding episode of Laguna Beach, replaying and breaking down certain scenes on the telestrator like Howie Meeker. The VJs (are they still VJs if there are no actual videos to jockey?) are completely empty inside and I fear Daryn Jones may have reached the limits of his comedy, but every so often they use MTV Live, their flagship show, to put together a rather interesting discussion of an important issue. Like, the other day, they were discussing the dangers of MySpace. Maybe you had to be there. And perhaps you have to put these things in perspective (ie. it's useless to judge MTV on the same criteria you would use to grade, say, CNN, PBS or even Spike for that matter). But I dare say MTV is threatening to overtake MuchMusic in my life. If only MTV could promise the sort of social boundary breaking for which I've come to steadfastly rely upon Much...

*Note: In an old press release I dug up (cripes, now I'm doing research for this), there is mention of nine episodes and then a two-part finale. Whatever. I still feel used.

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