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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

VJ Search: Episodes 3 and 4
I didn't get around to posting about Episode 3 (something about trying to get a life), so here then are various thoughts on last week and this week's installments.

1. For those keeping score at home: Sean is the gay guy, Frank is the black guy, Tim is the sensitive guy, Nikki is the sensible girl, Erik is the cool guy, Larissa is the bitch and Rebecca is the one who uttered the immortal phrase "I'm aroused in places I never knew I could be aroused in" when discussing her impending move to the penthouse.

2. Second best quote of last week goes to Sean for the nearly immortal: "For me, I'm more comfortable staying in a room with women." (Has anyone yet written a story about straight men pretending to be gay to pick up women? I have absolutely no evidence to prove this is actually happening, but it seems too brilliant an idea not to have been tried somewhere already.)

3. Sean could go either way right now. On the one hand, he's almost a parody of himself (enthusiastically personifying every gay stereotype imaginable while refusing to officially recognize the death of the fauxhawk). On the other hand, he's quite possibly shaping up to be one of the greatest characters in reality show history. At the end of last week's episode he proclaimed himself "the faggot on the reality show." This raises the possibility that he's also somewhat subversive.

4. While we're on the subject, has MuchMusic ever had an openly gay VJ? Actually, has Canada ever had an openly gay television personality? (Spare me your snarky references to various individuals who may or may not be gay. Unless you're willing to pay for the inevitable libel lawsuit.)

4. The big conflict in Episode 3: Whether or not the contestants should buy fish at the grocery store. That probably tells you more about this show than anything else I can possibly say here.

5. Last week, "expert" panelist Robin Black criticized some contestants for telling the press that they saw the job of VJ as a stepping stone to bigger things. That probably tells you more about this show's misguided sense of importance than anything else I can say here.

6. This week Erik and Frank nearly got into a fist fight. I've reviewed the tape at least 15 times and I still can't figure out why. Apparently next week the feud escalates. This could be awesome. Or at least upgrade this show from "awkward bore" to "cringe-worthy trainwreck."

7. Last week they kicked off Norm, this week they booted Nathalie. Apparently they're now part of some loser panel that will critique the show. Or something. I have no idea what this means, but I needed an excuse to post this blog comment from Norm:

"Some may consider me a loser for getting kicked off the show first. Some may consider me a victor for surpassing 2000 plus VJ hopefuls to get into the top 10. I personally feel that I am neither a winner or a loser, I am Norman."

8. Second-best blog comment goes to judge Farley FlexKardinal:

"Larissa? That little princess is just lucky some of the other judges like her. She cries at the drop of a dime. None of the other contestants like her. She definitely smells of Eau De Biyotch (Pardon my French)."

9. Apparently this is Rebecca's personal website. Enjoy.

10. I've decided that my favourite subplot of all is MuchMusic's attempts to make this show seem meaningful and dramatic. Basically this involves repeated shots of Steve Anthony looking confused and/or concerned.

11. Next week on America's Next Top Model, the contestants get makeovers. In the weekly challenge, they then compete to see who can give VJ Devon the best wedgie.

12. If I was running my own mob-connected, illegal gambling ring I would bet on: Nikki. Nice, stable, inoffensive, least likely to punch someone in the face. At this point, that's more than enough.

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