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Friday, November 25, 2005

How To Talk To Your Parents About Rap
A selection of words and phrases from The Globe's 50 Cent editorial (if you can't read that, go to Google News and search for it):

"gangsta"... Mr. Jackson is unlikely to win many nominations for citizen of the year... Fiddy (as he known to his legions of acolytes)... 50 Cent's lyrics glorify a culture inimical to the values of civil society. One random and relatively tame example (sensitive readers should skip the rest of this paragraph)... Rodgers and Hart, it ain't... one gun-fixated rapper's percussion-heavy, monotonic grunting about drugs and sex... his deleterious influence on the young... excellent cause for people to boycott his show and his products, and to urge others to do so.

(You can't possibly read that first one without actually doing the finger quotes, can you?)

Anyway. All that and they still think it would be wrong to bar 50 from the country.

Our favourite sentence is this though: "Like other miscreants before him, Mr. Jackson has been co-opted by the very capitalist ethic he purports to despise."

We love this a) because it manages to use the word miscreant and b) because it seems the complete opposite of reality.

50 hates capitalism? When did that happen? This guy was an independent entrepreneur at the age of, like, six. He obviously believes very strongly in the individual's ability to rise up economically and the value of healthy competition. Politically, he's pretty clearly a Republican. And did we mention Connecticut?

If 50 has any beef with capitalism, it's probably with the fact that whitey is still generally in charge. But otherwise...

(Elsewhere: Nestruck previews The Globe's next editorial - whether we should ban Hollywood's nefarious new blockbuster, Walk The Line.)

Anyway. It's obviously time we put this all behind us. We've got some very serious issues of poverty, race and violence we, as a country, need to deal with. And now we have a bitterly contested federal election to think about. This is a time for serious and sober reflection. A time to cease with the petty sniping and... oh, hold on, wait a minute, the honourable member for Edmonton-Strathcona is rising to speak...

"The Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister of Foreign Affairs says that rapper 50 Cent should not perform in Canada. With his hits like Hustler's Ambition, Slow Dough and Power of the Dolla, the rap star is known for glorifying theft, breaking the law and gangsterism. It sounds like he got his lyrics from the Gomery report.

"Does the parliamentary secretary not see any hypocrisy in condemning 50 Cent when he merely glorifies standard practice in the Liberal government?"


Ah. Yup. There it is. Rock bottom.

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