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Friday, January 21, 2005

Loving It Up While We're Going Down
So here's where we listen to the new Hot Hot Heat album, Elevator (to be released Apr. 5), and report back on our findings in something approaching real time. And... go.

Track 1 - Running Out Of Time
This sounds like No Doubt. Wait, no this sounds like Hot Hot Heat. Wait, no this really does sound like No Doubt. They've totally lifted the guitar from some pre-Don't Speak single or another. Still kicks though. Ranting against the sad and washed out post-famous who apparently roam Hollywood will never get old. Never...

Track 2 - Goodnight Goodnight
Anybody see The O.C. last night? Only saw a bit of it ourselves but apparently that cute redhead, that's technically Ryan's step-Aunt or something, got all drunk. If that ever happens again and she makes an ass of herself and Ryan has to break up with her, but it's like a good thing and we're supposed to feel sorta happy for him, this will be the song they play in the background...

Track 3 - Ladies and Gentleman
Ever noticed that sometimes when Steve Bays sings he sounds Scandanavian. Or Japanese. Or something... If they took harder drugs this would totally be an Alice in Chains song...

Track 4 - You Owe Me An IOU
Piano! Clever world play! We're sold. Like a really jovial Cure song or something. At our high school, they would have played this in the cafeteria at lunch. But only on Fridays. And we would have eaten grilled cheese and pretended to be so super happy that another week was done. Or something...

Track 5 - No Jokes - Fact
Oooh. A musical interlude. All sad and mopey. Betcha this means they're about to get all dark and shit...

Track 6 - Jingle Jangle
Yup, this is where they sound like The Walkmen. Only, of course, less crippled by delusions. This is the slow dance song. But not quite...

Track 7 - Pickin' It Up
Have Hot Hot Heat and The Killers toured together yet? If not, it's a double bill that has to happen in 2005. The funny thing about Jingle Jangle is that it totally could have been written by any one of those bands that came out of the post-Sloan, pseudo-Halifax-sound explosion. But none of those bands would have been hepped up on enough goofballs...

Track 8 - Island of the Honest Man
Also on our desk right now: something new from Jimmy Chamberlin, a Death Angel boxset and a soundtrack for the HBO documentary Thinking XXX - which comes with a sticker that says "WARNING: This CD package contains full frontal nudity images of both women and men..." Sweet. (Err. Sorry, we totally drifted away on this song...)

Track 9 - Middle of Nowhere
We so needed a ballad right now. "You didn't have to do it but you did it to say that you didn't have to do it but you would anyway." Preach on. Steve Bay even tries to like croon. Nearly. If Seth takes off for China or Portland or wherever again, this is what they'll play during the final montage as he leaves the party looking sad and lonely...

Track 10 - Dirty Mouth
Woah. Everything's all tense now. Seth's gone and we're starting to fight amongst ourselves because we're scared for his well-being, but we're even more scared to confront those feelings. How would you describe Steve Bays' singing? It's sorta like he's rapping sometimes, innit?

Track 11 - Soldier In A Box
We won't be able to like Linkin Park until they write something like this. And they totally could. Really hope this isn't inspired by like Iraq and shit. Cos that would totally kill our buzz...

Track 12 - Shame On You
There's only a couple tracks left and they're still all mad at the world. Is it wrong of us to hope they still pull a happy ending out of this?

Track 13 - ?
Weird. This track isn't listed on the packaging. And there's only like three seconds of really faint ambient noise or something. How... er... arty?

Track 14 - Elevator
Fuck happy endings. More big guitars with wolf fangs. Wait, do wolves have fangs? Anyway. The bottom fell out from beneath this party. Ryan just slugged somebody. And now he's going back to Chino. Time for the drunken post-punch-up, soul-searching while listening to Radiohead.

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